Today, I'm already Thirty Years and Nine Days Old.

To describe my day on my thirty... Tough. Very Tough. This was that day in the company where announcements were made. BIG announcements.

That day the management announced that I will be transferring to a new team...AGAIN! New team members but returning to my old boss.

That day was a roller coaster of emotion. I never really had anything special planned for my birthday but that big announcement happened. I was preparing for this, I thought I'm prepared for this. I had sleepless nights thinking about the big changes. I though I prepared enough. But sadly no.

Seeing my colleague cry for the first time made me think about why is he crying over something that he said he has no emotion about. I thought we had the same issue of the new boss but he has a different and valid issue. He was given a title that was all fake one, for show. His expectations of the company were never met during that day. He was crushed into pieces.

After that incident happened I felt a lot of different emotions, there are times that we had to be happy and act normal but a lot of times we feel shitty and worthless. But we have to stay strong for ourselves and for our new little brother.

That incident made me realize that I can be a brother too. Even if I'm an only child haha. kidding aside. I feel really bad knowing that I have to experience the same boss all over again. I feel really bad to the point that sometimes when I receive and email from her I cry because I can still remember the anxiety she brought me.

But life has to move on and move forward. We shouldn't be stuck in a situation where you feel bad. You deserve happiness. If you feel worthless and shitty, find time to grieve and mourn over the bad things happening to you but give yourself a timeline.

1. Denial. This is the first stage to moving on. We deny on the fact that things are really changing and here comes a new boss feeling bossy and all.

2. Anger. It's okay to be mad. Be mad at the company, at your boss, be mad for your "wrong" decisions in life. It's fine.

3. Bargaining. These are the what if's. What if I didn't pursue this job. "nasan na kaya ako?"

4. Depression. This is the toughest, I think. mahirap umahon, baka malunod ka.

5. Acceptance. Finally, Accepting the fact that it's a management decision and you can't do anything about it. Let's accept that fact and move on.

Minsan mahirap talaga mag move-on, in life, in love, in heart breaks, mahirap talaga mag move-on kasi may mga bagay na nasanay ka na at napamahal na din sayo. Akala mo kasi perfect na. Pero isipin mo na lahat ng nangyayari sa atin ngayon, every detail of it has a reason. You just have to trust the Man above.

Collect what you have learned over your past experiences, and don't make the same mistakes you've done. Rebuild yourself, so that when the right one comes along BUO KA.

Buoin mo yung sarili mo. Kung kailan, yan ang hindi natin alam. Wag mong pwersahin yung sarili mo kung hindi pa. Namnamin mo lahat ng pagkatalo ngayon. Para sa huli alam mo kung anong pagkakaiba ng pakiramdam ng nanalo at natatalo.